The AP’s now-infamous headline, “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch,” absolving Vance from the charge of fornication with a sofa, read more like a spoof from The Onion than serious reporting by an international news agency.
It also poured gasoline on the rumor already smoldering online and led to an explosion of hilarious memes that spread like wildfire across social media — memes sure to nag one of the least liked vice presidential nominees in recent history.
But what was the rumor, and how did it become a ubiquitous meme so fast?
The “Pushin’ Cushion” Backstory
The rumor was first sparked on July 15, the same day Trump, who’d survived an assassination attempt only 48 hours earlier, announced Vance, the 39-year-old junior senator from Ohio, as his VP pick leading into the Republican National Convention.
As reported by Snopes, a misinformation watchdog, X/Twitter user rickrudescalves concocted the rumor: “can’t say for sure but he [Vance] might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179–181).”
Although the X/Twitter user — whose account has now been either deleted or banned — would later claim it was a joke, the cushion was now out of the couch, as other users began sharing and retweeting the claim as if it were a matter of fact.
As the rumor spread, an unnamed party at the AP published the now infamous article on July 24, giving the claim further validity. But eyebrows were raised at the veracity of the rumor.
According to Mediaite, the fact check included a PDF search that scoured Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy, unearthing 10 references to “couch” or “couches.” However, none of these references made it clear that Trump’s potential right-hander — who’s prone to mocking childless cat ladies — ever made love to a love seat.
By July 25, in a rather rare and stunning move for a legacy publication not really known for tabloid journalism, the AP had deleted the post entirely.
After the story was pulled, an AP representative told Semafor reporter Max Tani that the piece “didn’t go through the wire service’s standard editing process” and they were investigating its origins. But by then, the misprinting had gone viral and stoked two separate paradoxes.
The first, as The Hollywood Reporter noted on July 26, “It is nearly impossible to prove a negative.” There was no evidence that Vance slid into a couch for self-gratification. However, there was also no evidence to prove that he didn’t do it, either.
The second paradox emanated from the modern maxim that governs our digital lives:
Not only does The Internet never forget, once you try to redact what you’ve already posted, especially if it’s electrically-charged material bound to draw Macheviallian responses — in this case, eyeballs hunting for any tangible opposition research to target the billionaire-shill moonlighting as a populist — chances are high the Collective Online Mob will not only spotlight the elision, but amplify it in frightening and/or hilarious ways.
Accordingly, MeidasTouch, an independent media company with a large following, known for its anti-Trump content, tweeted a screengrab of the deleted AP headline and helped spawn an entire ecosystem of “Pushin Cushion” memes and commentary across TikTok, X, Reddit, Facebook and Instagram.
It would also leapfrogged into the mainstream on late night shows like Colbert. Even Fox News eventually featured the unfolding saga.
Screwed A Couch, Caught The Memes
Richard Hanania created one of the first widely shared memes responding to the rumor that was published on July 22, almost 2 days before the AP story ran, and that attracted over 6 million views on X/Twitter.
The post underscored the political implications of the creative content gunning to take Vance down a chaise leg or two, while it also telegraphed the proliferation of tomfoolery yet to come.
In the form of a sarcastic apology, Hanania wrote, “I regret to inform you, the left’s memes are getting good.”
I regret to inform you, the left’s memes are getting good. pic.twitter.com/jCJPeTcUBc
— Richard Hanania (@RichardHanania) July 23, 2024
Below his caption, a video composed of various still shots of JD Vance’s face, intently staring into the void, were spliced with photographs of an assortment of couches on a zoom loop, making it appear as if Vance was gazing lusty-eyed at furniture porn approaching him.
Anonymous would also join in on the fun, posting a GIF on X/Twitter, from the notorious David Chappelle sketch, in which Rick James, played by Chappelle, taunts Charlie Murphy while grinding his muddy boots on Murphy’s new suede couch, shouting “fu*k your couch”!
Marvin Gaye even makes an appearance after X/Twitter user EastEndJoe posted the lyrics, “When I get that feeling I want sectional healing.”
“When I get that feeling I want sectional healing” 🎶🎵🎼 pic.twitter.com/L1i0XvXQvV
— Joe G (@EastEndJoe) July 25, 2024
Below the tagline, the crown of Vance’s cranium is strategically photoshopped into the wedge of a beautiful, scarlet-red sectional couch — and the Senator’s lips are “weirdly” pursed.
Meanwhile, across the digital square, TikTok users, unwilling to be outdone, went full bore on the couch-coitus charade, creating a menagerie of rib-tickling clips.
User urbanmythslegends posted a video with the headline: “ALLEYCATS AGAINST TRUMP,” subtitled “JOIN THE MILLION COUCH MARCH.” (Be sure to click the start button at the bottom, not the middle.)
@urbanmythslegends #kamalaharris #election2024 #joebiden #jdvance #donaldtrump ♬ som original - - ⌗ ᰔ -「 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 」( s
In it, a parade of couches are marching down a street, upon which cats are seated, holding up picket signs that read: “COUCHES FOR KAMALA” and “JD GROPED ME.”
The clip is capped off with Sia’s anthem “Unstoppable,” laid over top, but remixed with a cat meowing the lyrics.
The vid received over 328.4 thousand views, and 32 thousand likes, with many in the comments section cheering The New Alliance between cats and couches (while an earlier version, sans cats, had cross pollinated to X, and received 3.6 million views).
Then there’s the funny 1990s throwback to the film “Ghost.” Instead of the murdered Patrick Swayze longing for his girlfriend, played by Demi Moore, the TikTok user queerlorewithjojobear has him tearfully romanticizing over a couch set out on the street with a sign taped to it, reading “FREE!”
In the background the orchestral version of “Unchained Melody” sentimentally weeps, while the caption jokes: “When JD Vance sees a free sofa on the side of the road!”
And finally on Reddit (I could go on for hours with these, but clearly need to button it up), I personally enjoyed the comparison made between Vance and Arizona Sen. Mark Kelly, a former astronaut, who is said to be a potential Harris VP pick.
In the meme below, photos of the two men are placed side by side. Kelly’s caption reads: “54 days in space.” Vance’s: “30 seconds in a sofa.”
A Coda for the Couches
In a brief essay in the digital magazine Into, the author, who was also writing about the Vance-Couch-Meme saga, is keen to point out, not only do memes often “outlive the truth,” moreover, “an anecdote doesn’t need to be true to strike a chord with the American public.”
Ironically, on Friday, July 26, just hours before preparing to write this story, an old friend from high school texted me out of the blue after he stumbled across a quote I’d made, while in fact critiquing Vance months earlier, who was himself “Meme-Mill-Generating for clicks.”
I asked Brian how he ran across the quote, because the Rawstory piece that published it, focused on a completely unrelated Dolphin story — I know! — posted way back in February.
Minutes later, he responded to my text with an Instagram Thread’s link from The New York Times columnist Jamelle Bouie, who’d reshared the article, and captioned it: “certified freak,” pigeonholing Vance.
Just hours later, I asked Brian if he had any “greatest hits” of Vance-Couch-Memes I should use.
Next thing I know, we’d spent the weekend in a world of mirth, intermittently texting back and forth riotously hilarious jokes, created by some truly talented people, at the expense of 45’s stupid VP nom.
Here are links to several more of Brian’s faves:
- Saturday Night Couch Fever
- JD Vance sings “I F*cked A Couch
- Kamala telling Vance “Do not come” w/ furniture store backdrop
With all that said, I think it’s safe to say, memes are a powerful force — maybe even a powerful political force — that indeed have a long shelf life.
Self-righteous finger-pointing gets tedious and can only get you so far.
Humor is timeless.
Let’s milk this joke for all it’s worth!
