Don't Ask, I'm Telling

All the Pride we can get

The word pride itself has several definitions, some of which seem to oppose each other.

Keeping Up with the Jones

South Carolina, Snooki and other things that make you say, 'Hmm'

When George W.

Raised Relief

Message for the future

Outside my window right now, nothing seems terribly out of place — holly, oak, elm, hydrangea. House finch, cardinal, robin, squirrel. Buddhist, biker, sky-blue-sky.

Editor’s Note

I can do better

I was mindlessly dawdling on Facebook last week, absorbing all sorts of trivial information, when I encountered a horrific image.

Fables of the Deconstruction

Father and son

I recently caught myself making a “Tch!” noise and scrunching my face the same way my dad does when something inconsequential goes wrong.

Summary of My Discontent

Advancing the status quo

The following is the text of a recent speech to the National Inertia Guild by Biff Crowningshield Bredwell III of Indian Hills, winne

Guest Commentary

A call for change

For the past several weeks, I have been glued to the television, horrified by images of the devastating Deepwater Horizon oil rig disaster on the Gulf of Mexico.

Emotional Weather Report

The two Jonathans

I once lived in a tiny basement apartment with a kind-hearted femme fatale who wore black leather and dyed her hair bright red. We might’ve been poor in funds, but we were rich in love.

Fables of the Deconstruction

Don’t tell me how the story ends

My friend called me Saturday morning, May 22, in a panic.

Guest Commentary

Why I hate my own guts

Every time I ate, I either vomited or immediately had to use the bathroom.