May 2, 2006

Rumor & Innuendo: Rumblings From the World of Sports

As The Boss sayeth (that would be Bruce from N.J., not Stemle from the sunnyside): “It’s hard to be a saint in the city.”It is that time of year again, you know. When LEO’s resident “turf experts” regale you with speed ratings and Dosage indexes and three-furlong clockings. Then Mr. Doolittle and maybe Mr. Reed — acclaimed and award-winning writers both, viz a viz the Sport of Kings — whittle the upcoming 20 horse Derby field down to, oh, say five or six possible winners.How very helpful and incisive!!!!!Meanwhile, languishing over here in the corner, Seedy K, who, without knowledge or reason aforethought, picked two of the three in the money last May. Including Giacomo, the 50-1 longshot victor.Hold your applause. Please.That I chose Giacomo because at the time I was in New Orleans, enjoying a Seder feast at an eatery named for the Italiano t-bred’s cajun cousin, Jacques I’Mo, is beside the point. That I wagered nary a shilling on the nag is of no consequence, Mr. Doolittle’s dismissive braying about same notwithstanding.Sour grapes, dude. Get over it.Thus I come before you, humble as a slice of Derby Pie® at Guv Ern’s race-day brunch. You want across the board, get out your pencils.The Allman Brothers Band has always been my favorite group. Currently on slide guitar is Derek Trucks, nephew of drummer Butch Trucks. You know where I’m goin’ here. Plus, Derek Smith was one of my favorite Card hoopsters. (Aside: May his son join the family next year.)The Derby Winner: Brother Derek. Hey, short money spends better than no money at all.I used to be a lawyer. The Bar Association and I have voluntarily parted ways. (Much to the betterment of both, I might add.) I know some Rons who are lawyers.Lawyer Ron places. See above: Short money spends better than no money at all.Flashy Bull shows. Because, well, that’s really what Cyb and Trish’s Derby Eve glitzarama is all about.So too this column.Final tip, especially for you Infielders: Sanitary moist towelettes. You’ll thank me. A lot.New Bobby? Or another Booby? For 20 bucks, IU fans in Southern Indiana have their first opportunity to meet and greet Hoosier Savior To Be Kelvin Sampson. Huber Family Restaurant, May 10, 6 p.m. Can you spell a-n-x-i-o-u-s? (Reservations required; go to http://alumni.indiana.edu/clubs/docs/louisville485.pdf).seedyk@culturemaven.com