November 6, 2007

Rumor & Innuendo

Too much E in ESPN. Remember when we wished all of the games were on Channel 44 (HD 923) because the network knew how to do it right? Sure, there’s been too much Dickie V. But at least he screams (mostly) about hoops. Now their football announcers talk about BBQ, bringing food into the booth. I mean, really, who give a flyin’ f%#&?Early commitment. Rutgers got the nod from Vegas prepster Mascei Grier. The hoopster is 5-8, weighs 125 and is only a month past his 14th birthday. That is not a typo.House for sale ... in Lincoln, Neb. Were I Bill Callahan after his Huskers gave up 76 to Rock Chalk Jayhawk, I’d have hitchhiked east instead of boarding the flight back to campus. While no surprise, it’s confirmed: This guy is toast.(Bad) Luck of the Irish. Notre Dame is sooooooo bad it couldn’t even win when Touchdown Jesus tried to shine his light on them. Navy had to win it twice in South Bend after an awful call on a phantom pass interference on ND’s first attempt at a conversion in the third OT. Of course, Savior Charlie Weis could have won it in regulation if they’d kicked a field goal with less than a minute on the clock. Instead, The Genius went for it on 4th and 8, which his woeful team couldn’t convert. Must be Ty Willingham’s fault. Charlie Weis isn’t toast yet, but keep the butter handy.What’s wrong with this photo? A-Rod wanted $350M to continue to wear the pinstripes. Now, that is a pair o’ cohones. In 39 postseason games, he has hit .279. More important: “There is no World Series data available.” Because he has never led a team to baseball’s grandest stage.Save your breath. Two words I pray never to hear again: Kobe Bryant.SchnellSpeak of the Week. FAU had the week off. The Schnell took the time to rest his vocal chords. Which means this time around I got nuttin’, honey. If you’ve got some favorite Schnell quotes — other than the obvious ones —  send ’em along, and I’ll share the bounty with fellow acolytes.BY SEEDY Kseedyk@culturemaven.com