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January 22, 2008

Imaginary Conversations for 1-23-08

Scene: Former U.S. Rep. Anne Northup is getting her hair done at a fancy East End boutique. The woman seated next to her — Ms. Republican Everyvoter — can’t quite believe her luck.Ms. R.E.: Anne! Annie Northrup! You are MY HERO. I love you.Anne Northup: Well, thank you, thank you. It’s North-up, by the way.Ms. R.E.: I know I shouldn’t, but I have to ask: Are you …?AN: No, it’s natural.Ms. R.E.: Oh, I knew that. I mean, you have to run against that little liberal Je—AN: Well, I wouldn’t quite — Ms. R.E.: Oh, you have to, you have to.AN: — refer to him that way.Ms. R.E.: Oh, I’m sorry. I mean, some of my best friends are Jewish. It’s not that, it’s just —AN: I haven’t made up my mind. It’s hard work, and I don’t know if Woody can stand to see me lose three times in a row.Ms. R.E.: But, Yarmuth voted against Christmas presents. And he’s always saying mean things about W: The President.AN: True.Ms. R.E.: I just loved it when you tore David Hawpe a new one. Imagine, acting like he ever said anything nice about W: The President or any other Republicans.AN: Yes, I know. Give me a break.Ms. R.E.: Really, you’ve got to run. We have to get rid of that shrew Nancy Pelosi. Although I would love to meet her surgeon (winks).AN: Me, too.Ms. R.E.: It’s so nice to see you here, Ms. Northrup. What a surprise!!! I always heard you were too busy to fuss over your hair. AN: Well, I’ve got more time on my hands these days. And, it’s Northup. North-up.