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September 24, 2013

Jack Hunter is the man!

Some writers are bothered by hate mail. I’m not. In fact, I like it. You can’t write about the subjects I engage — politics, religion, race, empire, etc. — without pissing some people off. Truth be told, I want to piss them off. I enjoy pricking backward-thinking fools, and I love hearing them whine when I do it. So no, I don’t shed tears over hate mail — I sit back, take another shot of Jager and smile.

Recently, I had a hate mail curve ball thrown at me. One of my conservative “Facebook friends” sent me a series of angry notes. He says he’s not bitter with me, though. He’s very upset with LEO. Apparently, my “friend” is a little perturbed by the paper’s treatment of Jack Hunter — The Southern Avenger.

In several profanity-laced tirades, my “friend” instructed me to let the owners, writers and editors at LEO know that “Jack Hunter is THE MAN!” He also wants us to know that LEO is a backwater liberal rag that can’t hold a candle to The Man Jack Hunter. We have mischaracterized “The Man” as well as his former employer and friend Rand Paul as racists. They are not! Yada yada yada — we are all ignorant, deceptive, liberal anuses who should suck on large male genitalia and go to hell!

For those who don’t know, Jack Hunter is the conservative guy who ran around for years in a wrestling mask decorated with a confederate flag. Yes, you read it right — a grown-ass man looking like a knock-off Mil Mascaras or Mr. Wrestling #2. As the young folks say, LMAO! Even now, Jack laments the South losing the Civil War and still thinks the former Confederacy should secede from the Union. He has commented that he celebrates John Wilkes Booth’s birthday every year. Gotta put those slaves back in their place, right?

Jack “The Man” Hunter has also supported racially profiling Hispanics, praised white supremacists, condemned Congress’ apology for slavery and encouraged black Americans to “apologize to white people for their high crime rates.” Jack is real, you hear me! He is so real that he’s even rolled hardcore conservative icons like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and nutjob Mark Levin for not being conservative enough!

Jack is talented, too. So much so that Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) co-wrote a book with him titled “The Tea Party Goes to Washington” and even hired him as his media director. Hunter left that post earlier in the summer so as not to become a “distraction” for Paul. Hmm. Despite the offensive stances Hunter has taken on American history, race, immigration and the like, my “Facebook friend” wants you to know that neither Hunter nor Paul (nor their fans) are racists. Again, LMAO!

Well now, what can I say? I relayed the message to LEO to suck a big one. Now, I have a message for my “friend,” Hunter, Paul and people of their ilk. Jack Hunter is not “The Man.” Jack Hunter is a clownish racist. He is an offensive anachronism who has no place in modern America other than to remind us of who and what we don’t want to be. It says a lot that Paul would ever associate himself with such a person. And Paul thinks he can encourage more blacks to join the GOP. Hello! We stay away because of people like you, Rand!

I see you lemmings like Hunter running around with your confederate flags. Be clear — if you still yearn for the days of slavery and rock that junk, you’re a racist, plain and simple. Why don’t you go get a few swastika tats to boot? News flash: It’s been almost 150 years, and the South lost! Get over it!

Of course, they won’t. There are still people who socialize kids like the little 5-year-old who told my daughter she didn’t want to partner with her in gymnastics class because she is “allergic to black people.” Guess what? In modern America, my daughter and other people of color aren’t the outcasts — people like that doggone Klan baby and Jack Hunter are. So, the only problem I have with LEO is whatever harsh words were written about Jack “The Man” Hunter weren’t harsh enough. You confederate-flag-loving clowns can suck on that.

I fear I may have lost a “Facebook friend.” Oh, well.