August 31, 2011

Bar Belle: Last Friday night

It doesn’t make any sense, our love of Fridays. For one, we have to work part of the day — well, at least most of us cubical cauliflowers do. You would think Saturday would be preferred — and Saturdays are great, don’t get me wrong. But Friday just holds a special power that hasn’t been harnessed and rationed out by LG&E yet.

This power has led to the creation of two recent pop songs and had its forceful phalanges in many others. Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” runs rampant on the radio. Rebecca Black’s “Friday” not so much, but it’s worth a YouTube listen — just one, though. And Ke$ha’s party anthem “Tik Tok” was inspired by a Friday night on the town — she told me so in a drunk text. So what is it about Fridays? Off the top of my head, it probably has to do with: payday, celebrating the end of a workweek, being able to sleep in the next day, and happy hours.

But let’s not spend our time dissecting Fridays, let’s discuss what happened last Friday … from an imaginary conversation in my head, which usually occurs when I’m teetering the line between tipsy and let’s-do-more-shots!

Me: Hey ladies, so what did you do last Friday night?

Ke$ha: DJ blow my speakers up.

Katy Perry: DJ’s passed out in the yard.

Rebecca Black: It’s Friday, Friday.

Me: That’s right, Rebecca. Anyway, which of you is the bigger partier?

Ke$ha: Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack.

Katy Perry: Danced on tabletops; took too many shots; kissed but I forgot; maxed my credit card; got kicked out of the bar; went streaking in the park; skinny dipping in the dark; and had a ménage à trios.

Me: Is that all?

Rebecca Black: Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today is Friday, Friday.

Me: Umm, OK. Anyone live by a mantra?

Ke$ha: Ain’t got no care in the world but got plenty of beer.

Me: Awesome, I might have to borrow that!

Katy Perry: This Friday night do it all again.

Rebecca Black: Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend.

Me: Anyone ever do anything they regret?

Ke$ha: Boys try to touch my junk junk. Gonna smack ’em if he gettin’ too drunk drunk.

Me: Now you’re repeating words, too, Ke$ha?

Katy Perry: I kissed a girl and I liked it.

Me: Do you want to do it again when you come to Louisville next month?

Katy Perry: You think I’m pretty without any makeup on?

Me: Yes, definitely.

Katy Perry: Let’s go all the way. No regrets, just love.

Me: I have a pub crawl that night, but let’s meet up after.

Katy Perry: Let’s run away and don’t ever look back.

Ke$ha: The party won’t start ’til I walk in.

Me: Another ménage? Deal.

Rebecca Black: It’s Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday.

 

Gettin’ Drunky in Kentucky
I’m only going to say this once, so put your beer down. My annual Gettin’ Drunky in Kentucky pub crawl is Saturday, Sept. 10. As always, it starts at 7 p.m. at the Outlook Inn and is free to join. If you want a commemorative T-shirt, they’re $10. We stumble from the Outlook to Bearno’s Highlands … choking down one drink at each bar in between, which is 12 this year. An easier way to remember: 8 (years), 9-10-11, 12 (bars). By the end of it, you won’t be able to count this easy, trust me.

Drunk Texts of the Week
• Bald is for eagles, not beavers
• Who was pitching and who was catching?
• Im the lime green sheep of my family
• I want to date ur dog
• I just peed ALOT!
• Goodnight America. Wherever u are.
• You had me at “dixie”

Send your drunk texts to shavens@leoweekly.com. My blog is at barbelle.leoweekly.com. Word.