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Summary of My Discontent

2013: The User’s Manual

Welcome to 2013. We think you’ll agree this bold New Year sets the standard for convenience, comfort and happiness you will find in no other year at any price.

Summary of My Discontent

Just another Christmas story

Santa Claus was a dick. Jesus, too. Those were Jasper’s views about Christmas in a nutshell. Frosty, Rudolph and Hermey the Dentist could all kiss Jasper’s ass. And God?

Summary of My Discontent

Monogamy in the lab

A study published Tuesday in the Journal of Neuroscience has uncovered a surprising new property of (the hormone) oxytocin, finding that when men in monogamous relationships got a sniff of th

Summary of My Discontent

Looming fiscal metaphors

With the election behind us, many Americans have turned their attention to the “fiscal cliff,” a phrase widely used to describe the economic splatter that awaits us because, like Wile E

Summary of My Discontent

Celebrating a president

By now you either know who won the election or you are savoring the spectacle of a constitutional crisis of chad-hanging proportions.

Summary of My Discontent

Reaching the undecided voters

My fellow Americans, it’s been a long and grueling campaign. I’ve debated my worthy opponent on the issues.

Summary of My Discontent

History’s Assholes: Fred Koch

Welcome once again to History’s Assholes, the column that travels back in time to flush out the assholes who made the world what it is today.

Summary of My Discontent

The simile and you

As a longtime writer of not only grammatically viable sentences but also the occasional full-length paragraph, I’m often asked about the proper role of similes in today’s challenging wr

Summary of My Discontent

Grooming the next-next generation

Attention 7-year-olds: Congratulations! You’re going to inherit the country. I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, barnacles!” But hear me out.

Summary of My Discontent

My novel pitch

Thanks for letting me pitch my novel. I think it’s got real potential.