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May 13, 2008

Video TapeWorm: Releases through Tuesday, May 20

THIS WEEK’S TWIN PEEKS:DIARY OF THE DEAD2007; $24.95, RGreg Nicotero and the rest of the maniacs at K.N.B. Effects Group are responsible for the excellent gore in this ersatz film-school homage to George Romero — written and directed by George Romero! The plot about film students encountering real zombies while filming a zombie movie is just a smokescreen for George and pals to have fun — joining in are Wes Craven, Stephen King, Simon “Shaun of the Dead” Pegg, Quentin Tarantino and Guillermo del Toro! — though George claims that this is a “reboot,” a way to start over and get control of the franchise once again. Whatever, it’s a zombie flick by the master. Enjoy.NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD1968; $19.95, URFortieth anniversary re-release of THE horror classic starring Duane Jones, and Judith O’Dea. His copyright long-lost due to a legal cock-up, by 2007 NOTLD was the most popular public-domain movie of modern times, responsible for more free downloads over the Internet than any other. As if you needed a summary: For unknown reasons, the recently dead arise and attack the living in a flesh-eating orgy of terror. Now available with all-new bonus goodies from George, himself. Fully remastered and restored; even after 40 years we still can’t sit through this thing!DOLLGATORY: EVERYTHING FOR A BUCK OR MORE2007; $29.95, URA hilariously twisted look at American culture and values as Conor McLean, owner of a Dollar Store, attempts to murder his wife but ends up killing himself, instead. God looks down on his soul and condemns him to a personal purgatory of cheap, plastic crap, fluorescent lights and tacky people He calls “Dollgatory.” The man’s only redemption lies in satisfying all the past customers he has wronged. Rod Serling never did it better.FLASHDANCE1983; $19.95, RNow available in a Special Collector’s Edition, the very definition of “’80s movie!” Jennifer Beals will live forever in our dreams as the welder-by-day-exotic-dancer-by-night who dreams of attending a classy dance school. Meanwhile, she bares one shoulder to Michael Nouri and pouts over the greatest movie soundtrack, ever. (OK, so it was disco. It was still good!) A sexy, bright, sparkling, feel-good movie that’s inherently dumb as hell. What more could you want? Oh, what a feeling! ... sorry.FLOCK2007; $24.95, RDid you know that Richard Gere and Claire Danes recently made a movie together? Us, neither, but here it is. He monitors and tracks sex offenders, until one of them jumps-leash and snatches a little girl, leading Gere and her mom (Danes) into the sleazy world of S&M. Yeah, it’s a stinker, but wonderfully so.LOST COLONY2008; $29.95, PG-13Adrian Paul, TV’s “Highlander,” stars in this supernatural slasher flick based on the true story of the Roanoke Colony, which disappeared without a trace from 1580s Virginia. Has something to do with a Viking curse on the place, so the filmmakers wisely filmed this in ... Bulgaria! Great stuff.NATIONAL TREASURE 2: BOOK OF SECRETS2007; $29.95, PGYes, it’s another dumbass Nicolas Cage adventure yawn, a follow-up to his previous vapid outing in which he went looking for ... well, we don’t remember either. Made quite an impression, huh? Regular readers know that we HATE No-Talent Nicky and wish that he would go back to waiting tables. But we digress. With Jon Voight, Harvey Keitel, Ed Harris, Diane Kruger, Helen Mirren and the Disney Special Effects Crew to make Cage at least appear to be human.NOVA: APE GENIUS: WHAT SEPARATES APES FROM HUMANS2008; $19.95-24.95, URWhat separates us from the apes? Apparently we have a Congress and they fling their own crap, which limits our intelligence. Oh, Cornelius, where are we now that we need you? Huh? Oh, sorry. The more we study apes, the harder it becomes to define what “human” is, though apparently it has something to do with tithing.PARK2006; $24.95, RAn ensemble comedy/drama that takes place in a single day at an LA public park. Billy Baldwin, Ricki Lake, Cheri Oteri, Melanie Lynskey from “Two and A Half Men”, Izabella Miko, Anne Dudek and others find love, lose keys, drink from a bag and talk dirty while the rest of the world walks by.ROBOT CHICKEN: STAR WARS2007; $14.95, URGeorge “Litigious” Lucas was so impressed with this Seth Green project that he gave him his complete cooperation — even providing a voice-over! Seth and pals comically recreate the entire Star Wars experience using off-the-shelf action-figures and voices by Joey Fatone, Malcolm McDowell, Conan O’Brien, Donald Faison, Keith Ferguson, Hulk Hogan (as Abraham Lincoln!) and Seth MacFarlane as Emperor Palpatine. Seth, of course, stole the idea for his “Blue Harvest” episodes on “Family Guy,” on which Green appears.STRANGE WILDERNESS2008; $29.95, RA not-entirely-successful Steve Zahn comedy that pokes way-overdue fun at TV nature shows. To save his declining documentary program, he and a sidekick set out to find Bigfoot — or at least a guy in a Bigfoot suit. With cameos by Harry Hamlin, Robert Patrick, Joe Don Baker, Justin Long and our favorite actor, Ernest Borgnine. The “turkey sequence” is inspired.THE BILL ENGVALL SHOW: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON2008; $19.95, URA simple sitcom, derivative of everything from “The Tim Allen Show” to “Everyone Loves Raymond” but not offensively so. Famous from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Bill plays a Denver family counselor with a dysfunctional family at home. Far better than it has to be.THE ENTRANCE2006; $26.95, URA pretty police detective (Sarah-Jane Redmond, Nell Potter from “Smallville”) seeks the truth but instead finds an occult mystery in this distaff thriller from Canada.THE LEGEND OF TILLAMOOK’S GOLD2008; $14.95, URA fun and lighthearted quest for family from the POV of a young girl in a seaside town in Oregon where legends of gold, murdered slaves and spiritual moose intermingle with those of the local Native Americans. A high-spirited adventure especially for girls with Max “Sgt. Wojohowitz” Gail and Floyd “Red Crow” Westerman.THE REICH UNDERGROUND2004; $24.95, URLate in WWII, with the German war machine savaged by Allied bombers, the Nazis took a desperate step, digging massive tunnels in which to hide entire armament factories. Untold thousands of slave laborers died in the process. This doc takes you for the first time inside those long-sealed caverns, along with captured German film of their creation.WHAT WOULD JESUS BUY?2007; $24.95, PGMorgan Spurlock, the guy who brought us “Supersize Me,” is back, this time with “Reverend Billy” who takes on WalMart, Disney and other crass commercializers of Christmas.OTHER DVDS OF INTEREST24: SEASON ONE SPECIAL EDITION2008; $59.95, URCHARLES IN CHARGE: SEASON 32008; $29.95, URJEFF CORWIN EXPERIENCE, SEASON 22002; $24.95, URPENN & TELLER BULLSHIT!: THE COMPLETE FIFTH SEASON2008; $29.95, URTHE MUPPET SHOW: THE COMPLETE THIRD SEASON2007; $39.95, URA more complete listing and free vids at www.videotapeworm.com!