December 11, 2007

Video TapeWorm: Releases through Tuesday, Dec. 18

THIS WEEK’S TWIN PEEKSBALLS OF FURY2007; DVD $29.95-39.95, PG-13Christopher Walken is having the time of his life as the evil “oriental” master in this just-plain-goofy spoof of Bruce Lee movies. Pudgy Dan Fogler is recruited by FBI agent George Lopez to infiltrate the treacherous world of extreme ping-pong to find the man who killed his father inside Walken’s palatial arena. Stupid testicles-in-your-face jokes fly everywhere as the stunning Maggie Q, James Hong and Robert Patrick mug for the camera; from the guys who brought us “Reno 911.”THE SIMPSONS MOVIE2007; DVD $29.95-$39.95, PG-13A surprisingly small cast — the Simpson regulars plus Tom Hanks, Albert Brooks and Green Day — bring us this cautionary eco-tale of too much pig crap, domed cities and Eskimo vision quests that succeeds in poking fun at all the inanities of modern life. In other words, a big ol’ episode of “The Simpsons.” Long overdue, but worth the wait if only for Bart’s franks-and-beans-on-a-skateboard gag, which is so perfectly timed that it caused two grown women we know who will go nameless (Pam and Cheryl) to soil the seats of a local cineplex.ALIEN APOCALYPSE & THE MAN WITH THE SCREAMING BRAIN2005; DVD $9.95 each, URFans of Bruce “Bubba Ho-Tep” Campbell are already well versed in this pair of no-budget sci-fi titles: They were the first movies that Bruce pitched to the SciFi Channel to launch his own production company. They chose “Apocalypse,” which has Campbell returning from deep space to find mankind enslaved by 6-foot alien insects. He finally made “Brain” later that same year in Bulgaria with the help of “Evil Dead” pal Sam Raimi (provided it co-starred his brother, Ted). It’s a spoof of brain-transplant movies with Stacy Keach doing cameos as a mad scientist. Both are pretty bad in the best sense of the word, and neither are to be missed at this price!BLADE RUNNER2007; DVD $20.95-99.95, RWe love this Ridley Scott/Harrison Ford take on Philip K. Dick’s seminal “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?,” but even WE pray that this is the last “new version.” Called the “Final Cut”, it’s a 25th Anniversary edition available in two, four or five-disc sets in DVD, HD and Blu-ray. Among the various bonus materials you’ll find extended scenes, never-before-seen special effects, a 5.1 Dolby sound track and a whole series of featurettes — including one behind-the-scenes-and-then-some look that lasts more than three hours! Pick one.BOY EATS GIRL2005; DVD $26.95, RWe’re big fans of this almost-unknown indie comic-horror culter from Ireland, a sweet tale of two young lovers who declare an undying vow ... and then the boy dies. When his daffy mom brings him back to undead life, he goes looking for his sweety (“Time Machine”’s Samantha Mumba!), siring more zombies along the way.CARMEN ELECTRA’S AEROBIC STRIPTEASE: IN THE BEDROOM2007; DVD $16.95, URHummana-hummana-hummana ... sorry, our brains shut down there for minute. Bulbous babe Carmen follows up her top-selling fitness franchise with this series of body-sculpting dance moves and bed-stretches designed to strengthen forearms and put Viagra out of business.EVIL DEAD: ULTIMATE EDITION1982; DVD $34.95, URNot so much a new edition as a 25th Anniversary celebration of the most original, influential and entertaining movie we can name. A three-disc set containing a grand, widescreen version of the film plus every scrap from the cutting room floor, all analyzed by Bruce Campbell, director Sam Raimi, producer Robert Tapert and others, PLUS visits to fan conventions, a look at the international impact of the film AND a special doc on “The Women of Evil Dead.”HALLOWEEN2007; DVD $29.95, RThe Rob Zombie version, available in a two-disc set, inspired by John Carpenter’s masterwork. Rob takes the low road, showing how little Mikey Myers was abused and tormented into becoming the face of undying evil. While it may provide more back-story, it’s really just an excuse for Rob to spend more time screwing the audience. With gallons of gore and tons of cameos by horror vets such as Malcolm McDowell, Dee Wallace Stone, William Forsythe, Ken Foree, Danny Trejo, Adrienne Barbeau, Clint Howard, etc.HATCHET2007; DVD $26.95, R/URA big hit from the horror/cult convention circuit featuring non-stop tits, gore and cheeze. Tony “Candyman” Todd, Robert “Freddy Krueger” Englund and Kane “Jason” Hodder join familiar TV faces for a trip down a haunted swamp, landing in slasher-movie hell.ONCE2007 DVD $29.95, RFor our money, the best Irish film of modern times. An unnamed part-time musician meets an unnamed Czech woman who helps him prepare a demo CD as they fall in love. And it’s a musical! But not like any musical you’ve ever seen before: a natural expression of the music that’s around us everywhere. An absolute must-own.STARDUST2007; DVD $29.95-39.95, PG-13Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert De Niro pretty-up this kids’ romance-fantasy starring Charlie Cox and Sienna Miller. Danes is a literal fallen star who must be protected at all costs from the evil witch Pfeiffer, leading to all manner of swashbuckling and derring-do.THE LAST LEGION2007; DVD $28.95, PG-13A quickie, fun, modern sword-and-sandal epic with historical overtones. Lots of action and glib humor pepper this Brit-heavy production that finds Colin Firth, Ben Kingsley and Aishwarya Rai unknowingly giving birth to the legends of King Arthur and Excalibur.UNDERDOG2007; DVD $29.95-$34.95, PGLong overdue live-action treatment of a cartoon classic with Jason Lee taking over for the late Wally Cox as the voice of our hero, with Peter Dinklage as Dr. Simon Barsinister, James Belushi, Patrick Warburton, Brad Garrett and a host of others. Aimed squarely at the 8-year-old in all of us.OTHER DVDS OF INTERESTONE TREE HILL: THE COMPLETE FOURTH SEASON2006; DVD $59.95, URRAWHIDE: SEASON 22007; DVD $79.95, URTHE ADVENTURES OF YOUNG INDIANA JONES: VOLUME 22007; DVD $129.95, URTHE MOD SQUAD: SEASON 1 VOLUME 12007; DVD $38.95, URA more complete listing and free vids at!