March 28, 2006

Video Tapeworm - Released through April 4

THIS WEEK’S TWIN PEEKS:·BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN2005; DVD $24.95, RYep, it’s the world’s first gay cowboy movie (if you don’t count “Don’t Stop the Music” by the Village People), starring sexy Heath Ledger and sultry Jake Gyllenhaal as two saddlebums who take an alternate route to the Rockies with Randy Quaid, Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams along for the ride. Director Ang Lee needed something to remove the stain of “The Hulk” from his resume, so he chose this incredibly inexpensive-to-make movie over another SFX extravaganza. Gay foreplay creeps us out, but beyond that this is a movie about following your heart, being true to yourself and the provocative, alluring nature of sheep.·CRASH2005; DVD $26.95, R/URTwo-disc Director’s Cut of the Oscar-winning drama filled with big-name stars who completely immerse themselves in the roles. Well written, masterfully directed by Paul Haggis (writer/producer of “Million Dollar Baby”) and gutsy, taking on the issues of race and prejudice in the powder keg that is modern day L.A. The disparate lives of Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Jennifer Esposito, William Fichtner, Brendan Fraser, Ludacris, Thandie Newton and others come crashing together at a fated intersection to a shocking finale. Filmmaking at its finest.·3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN: THE BEST EPISODES IN THE UNIVERSE, REALLY2006; DVD $9.95, URWe absolutely LOVED the first season or so of this completely off-the-hook comedy series starring goofy John Lithgow, Amazonian Kristen Johnston, brain-damaged French Stewart, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the awesome Jane Curtin. The most talented cast ever assembled by a Big Giant Head (who got his job kissing the Big Giant Butt) for your entertainment. A collection of cast-selected favorites, including the pilot.·9 TO 5: SEXIST, EGOTISTICAL, LYING HYPOCRITICAL BIGOT EDITION1980; DVD $19.95, PGSpiffy new release of a true comedy classic with Dolly Parton (in her first film), Lilly Tomlin and mousy Jane Fonda as much-abused corporate peons, suffering under the foot, tongue and penis of tyrannical fink Dabney Coleman. When Dolly has had enough, she hog-ties the horn-dog and the three of them chain him to a bed in his own home! But what can they do with him then? A hilarious send-up of life in a cubicle farm, and one of the few fem-centric comedies that really works.·AMERICAN EXPERIENCE: AROUND THE WORLD IN 72 DAYS1997; DVD $19.95, URDavid Ogden Stiers narrates this made-for-TV true story of Nellie Bly, one of the world’s first female investigative newspaper reporters, circa 1888 — and the inspiration for Superman’s Lois Lane. Really! (BTW: A full-length theatrical Nellie Bly adventure is slated for release later this year.)·BEE SEASON2005; VHS Rental/DVD $27.95, PG-13A near-arthouser Jewish family drama from Fox about an overlooked 11-year-old girl who comes into her own during a spelling bee. Flora Cross stars under the tutelage of Richard Gere and Juliette Binoche.·GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE COMPLETE SERIES2006; DVD $26.95, URA veritable time-capsule of the ’80s, when the insane popularity of those butt-ugly Cabbage Patch dolls spawned a litany of imitators and at least one counter-culture monstrosity: The Garbage Pail Kids. Growing from bubble-gum cards to a short-lived cartoon show to an unwatchable, toxic, live-action movie, their place in American pop culture cannot be denied. Now available in all their vomitous, mucus-eating, zit-spurting glory: 13 animated episodes.·MEL BROOKS BOXSET COLLECTION1970; DVD $99.95, URAn amazing eight-disc assemblage from the King of Uneven Comedies ranges from amazing (“Blazing Saddles,” “Young Frankenstein,” “Silent Movie”), to interesting (“High Anxiety,” “To Be or Not to Be,” “Twelve Chairs”) and to just plain silly (“History of the World Part I,” “Robinhood: Men in Tights”).·MIDNIGHT STRIKE FORCE2006; DVD $29.95, URThis is an “Hentai,” an example of hard-core animated porn. A somewhat obscure genre, we admit, but always surprising, amazingly imaginative and strangely entertaining. In this series, a busty squad of protectors fights a super-secret cult of supernatural lesbians out to steal bodies from the local hospital for diabolical experiments.·THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES’ SMARTER BROTHER1975; DVD $14.95, PGWe’re probably the only people on the planet who fondly remember this wonderfully odd Gene Wilder comedy, his follow-up to “Young Frankenstein.” With Madeline Kahn and Marty Feldman in tow, Wilder is the titular sib of the famous detective, “Sheer-luck” Holmes, in a wacky caper spoofing the old Basil Rathbone series.·THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE2005; VHS Rental/DVD $29.95, PGForget all that “Christian mythology for little kids” crap you’ve heard — anyone who can turn this big-budget fantasy into a story of Jesus would have to have very selective blindness, indeed. Tilda Swinton goes completely over the top as the hysterical White Witch who keeps the hidden land “forever in winter, but never Christmas.” The rest of the live cast is forgettable, but the excellent CGI and puppetry work is first-rate, and Disney wisely hired the WETA Workshop (“Lord of the Rings”) to do the epic battle scenes. The DVD is a two-disc collector’s set with all the trimmings.·THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH1998; DVD $24.95, URA fun and funny indie romantic comedy/drama about food, passion and one-eared dogs set in the spectacular Sierra Nevada Mountains.·USHPIZIN2005; DVD $27.95, PGReportedly the first movie ever made by the shuttered Israeli ultra-Orthodox community, this subtitled Yiddish/Hebrew tale of a married couple who mistake a pair of suspicious strangers for messengers from God is surprisingly original and very, very funny. Recommended.  OTHER DVDS OF INTEREST·DAWSON’S CREEK: THE COMPLETE SIXTH SEASON1998; DVD $49.95, UR·FAR SIDE OF THE MOON2003; DVD $24.95, UR·KNIGHT RIDER: SEASON FOUR1982; DVD $49.95, UR·MAGNUM P.I.: THE COMPLETE FOURTH SEASON1980; DVD $49.95, UR·SATANIC2006; DVD $26.95, R·THE A-TEAM: SEASON FOUR1983; DVD $49.95, URA more complete listing and free vids at!