February 14, 2006

Video TapeWorm: New releases through Feb. 21.

THIS WEEK’S TWIN PEEKS:ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN1976; DVD $26.95, RMovies just don’t get any better than this, folks. Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford give the performances of their careers as Washington Post reporters Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward, a pair of crusading journalists — back when that was patriotic — who uncover Richard Nixon’s criminal activity, leading to his resignation. As exciting and inspirational today as it was three decades ago.MIDNIGHT COWBOY1969; DVD $29.95, URIf you are of the generation who knows Jon Voight only as father to Angelina Jolie, this is required viewing. In this, his signature role, he is “Joe Buck,” an aspiring male prostitute from Texas who goes to Manhattan in hopes of finding wealthy women to woo, but winds up instead with two-bit hustler Dustin “Ratzo Rizzo” Hoffman. A two-disc Collector’s Edition with all the usual bonus material.  2069: A SEX ODYSSEY/RUN VIRGIN RUN2001; DVD $19.95, RA perfect pairing of just-plain-silly soft-core porn comedies originally from West Germany (we think). Doesn’t matter. The dialogue is hilarious, the guys are as ugly as sin and the women all have great bulbs ... That’s a home-run in our book!CERBERUS2005; DVD $26.95, RNormally these myth-inspired CGI atrocities from the SciFi Channel just annoy us, but this one had real potential! The fascinating “true” tale of Cerberus, the three-headed dog who guarded the gates of the Underworld, is abandoned in favor of Greg Evigan searching for some cockamamie “breastplate of Attila the Hun.” These people MUST BE STOPPED!DOMINO2005; VHS Rental/DVD $27.95, RKeira Knightley was an audacious choice to play Domino Harvey, the real-life female bounty hunter, born into a life of wealth and status. And somewhere in this MTV-obsessed mess is a terrific story waiting to be told, but this loud, hyper-active shoot-’em-up doesn’t give us a damned clue why a beautiful and provocatively feminine socialite would give it all up to pursue one of the world’s lowest — and most dangerous — professions. Great cast, including Mickey Rourke, Edgar Ramirez and Delroy Lindo; a real shame.FIRST DESCENT2005; DVD $29.95, PG-13Five of the world’s greatest snowboarding nutjobs are — quite literally — dropped onto mountains in Alaska where they alternately ski off cliffs and give incredibly lame and arrogant treatises on the Zen of sliding downhill. Great scenery, though.NORTH COUNTRY2005; VHS Rental/DVD $28.95, RThe ubiquitous Charlize Theron stars in this tale of the first sexual harassment class-action lawsuit in America. She plays a single mom who gets a job in an iron mine to make ends meet. But while the job is hard, the men are harder as they proceed to belittle, touch and taunt the woman, who, born without a sense of humor, enlists the aid of the rest of the town. They don’t intervene, so she sues the lot of them. Well written and with a great cast including Elle Peterson, Frances McDormand, Sean Bean, Woody Harrelson and Sissy Spacek.RADLEY METZGER DVDS!DVD $19.95 each, URRadley Metzger was our favorite director from the early days of the “art film”; a pseudonym for trashy, imported movies “of social significance” that put a patina of respectable-ism on soft-core nudies of the mid-’60s. First Run Features is releasing the entire Metzger DVD catalog — once available only in Europe — for a give-away price! Now available: “Camille 2000" (1969), “Carmen, Baby” (1966), “Little Mother” (1971), “Score” (1972), “The Alley Cats” (1965), “The Dirty Girls” (1964), “The Lickerish Quartet” (1970), “The Princess & The Call Girl” (1983), and the Sapphic masterpiece “Therese and Isabelle.” A gem, each and every one.RENT2005; VHS Rental/DVD $28.95, PG-13Further proof that the American movie-going public and the American live-theater-going public do not piddle in the same gene pool. One of the most successful live musicals of recent years ... and it died within a week on the big screen due to plain, old-fashioned apathy. Here’s what you missed: a rock opera based on Puccini’s “La Boheme” about modern-day Bohemians struggling to live and grow in the gritty social battlefield of New York’s East Village. Great music, great cast, great opportunity. Lost.SOLDIERS IN THE ARMY OF GOD2000; DVD $24.95, URA remarkably well-balanced documentary on the subject of abortion and the abuses of the Christian Right — which include murder and arson — courtesy of HBO.THE WEATHER MAN2005; VHS Rental/DVD $29.95, RNicolas Cage’s latest bomb. We won’t bore you with the details, except to say that he gets repeatedly pelted with cola and fast food whenever things slow down. Which is often. And the best part of the movie. Have we ever mentioned how much we HATE Nicolas Cage?!!VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, VOL. 11964; DVD $39.95, URFirst DVD release of a seminal piece of crappy sci-fi TV history. Not really trying to deride it, but this silly Irwin Allen undersea turkey will never win any awards for excellence — even though it was on the air for a season longer than the original “Star Trek”! Anyway, Richard Basehart and David “Al” Hedison take a big honkin’ submarine and fight guys in (usually giant) rubber monster suits while stagehands rock the camera back and forth and sparks fly from water pipes. We LOVE this stuff!WATERBORNE1995; DVD $24.95, URAn intriguing and exciting no-budget indie look at bioterrorism. The premise is that bad guys put a biological “something” in L.A.’s water supply ... Or at least that’s the rumor as three bands of residents from different parts of town try to get to the truth and survive the ensuing panic. Other DVDs of InterestCLAIRE DOLAN1998; DVD $29.95, URGOOF TROOP, VOL. 11992; DVD $14.95, URNAKED WORLD2003; DVD $24.95, URQUACK PACK, VOL. 11996; DVD $14.95, URSPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: LOST IN TIME2006; VHS $9.95/DVD $16.95, UR A more complete listing and free vids at www.videotapeworm.com!