Maid in Sweden

April 22, 2009

Video TapeWorm

New, encore and low-price DVD releases on Tuesday, April 28

THIS WEEK’S TWIN PEEKS:

MAID IN SWEDEN

1971; $24.95, R

If women are the only works of art, then Christina Lindberg is the Louvre. Simply the most beautiful woman ever born, she began her career in Swedish high school as a swimsuit and nude model, posing for Playboy and Penthouse while still in her teens. This Nordic “comedy” is nothing more than a harmless series of goofy softcore set-ups designed to get Chrissy butt-nekkid as often as possible. ... And they’re doing God’s work. We can also recommend her new special edition of “Exposed” (1970), the famous rape/revenge outing that launched a genre. We’re happy to report that today she’s alive, well, thriving and still gorgeous.

THE SHE-BEAST

1965; $14.95, UR

Barbara Steele ... what more could you need to know?! This all-but-lost chestnut from the halcyon days of the drive-in has been fully restored so that you can enjoy Barbara, John Karlsen and Ian Ogilvy tackle the restless spirit of an 18th century witch, determined to live again. Better known as “Revenge of the Blood Beast,” the opening sequence in which Barbara/The Witch is tortured and executed in a “dunking chair” has been restored — and a new Steele commentary added! A must-own.

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BRIDE WARS

2009; $29.95-$39.95, PG

In order for big Hollywood stars to be cast in big Hollywood movies, they must agree to do other cheap, crappie movies that the studios can pimp to DVD for tons of cash. In this case, the stars are Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway.

CARGO 200

2007; $24.95, UR

OK, how to describe this Russian horror/black comedy? An allegory for the fall of the Soviet Union? A treatise comparing Scientific Atheism with serial killing? A Red slasher movie? Well, writer/director Aleksey Balabanov said of it, “I show what filth we lived in. Society was sick from 1917 onwards.” Howzat? Several strangers cross paths at a rural farmhouse where a serial killer lies in wait. The title is a military codeword for dead soldiers returning from the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan.

HOTEL FOR DOGS

2009; $29.95-$39.95, PG

Big-budget, big-name quickie kid-flick about a pair of foster kids (Emma Roberts and Jake T. Austin) who need a place to hide their disallowed dog. When word spreads that they’ve found an abandoned hotel, they become surrogate parents to hundreds of mutts with hilarious consequences. Harmless fun with Don Cheadle, Lisa Kudrow and Kevin Dillon.

LEGALLY BLONDES

2008; $26.95, PG

Forgettable third in the series, now without Reese Witherspoon, Sally Field or any other reason to watch.

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

2008; $24.95, R

Whenever you see a big-name cast — Kate Beckinsale, Matt Dillon, Alan Alda, Angela Bassett, etc. — thrown together in a quickie tale torn from today’s headlines, it usually doesn’t bode well for you, the viewer. But this one is different. A Washington, D.C., reporter goes to jail rather than reveal her source after exposing a CIA agent while researching a government scandal. If that sounds like the Valerie Flame fiasco, it is; but Beckinsale and cast do one helluva job.

ONE-EYED MONSTER

2008; $24.95, R

Aging pornster Ron Jeremy stars in this horro-comedy as a stunt-dick whose livelihood has become infected with a deadly alien parasite. (Not hard to imagine, is it?) The diseased member goes skittering around a la “Alien,” killing the rest of the film-cast in scenes reminiscent of great monster movies. Co-stars Amber Benson from “Buffy,” the great Charles Napier and retired stunt-cunt (that’s what they call ’em, folks — don’t blame us) Veronica Hart.

PEOPLES

2009; $24.95, UR

Filmed rat-cheer in Louisville, this excellent late-coming-of-age drama is the brainchild of two native sons: writer/director Joseph Ardery and actor John Hensley (“Nip/Tuck”). After a bad year in college, Hensley comes home to live with his rich parents, drink beer and chase the busty local women with the help of two childhood friends (Joshua Harto and Billoah Greene). Co-starring lovely Kate Mara (“We Are Marshall”) and featuring a cameo by former pornster Ron Jeremy, this raw, slice-of-life indie ranks as one of the best regional films we’ve ever seen. Recommended.

SEVEN DEADLY SINS

2008; $19.95, UR

Did you know that there were originally eight deadly sins? They were created by the Catholic Church to keep a lusty 4th century monk from spreading venereal disease. Really! We learned all about it in this History Channel series: seven episodes, one sin per hour, gangs of fun.

STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES: SEASON 1

$129.95, UR

Finally! After all that mucking about in hyper-hype, Paramount is finally releasing the first season of the original “Star Trek” on seven Blu-Ray discs, just in time for the new movie. All 29 episodes including “Mudd’s Women,” “Miri,” “Arena” and “Space Seed” (the prequel to “The Wrath of Kahn”). What more could you possibly want to know?

THE CENTERFOLD GIRLS

1974; $14.95, R

Welcome resurrection of a ’70s grindhouse classic about a depraved religious fanatic (any local allergy doctors come to mind?) who decides to punish all the “immoral” women who have posed for a nudie mag. Features notable exploitation actress/soap-star Jaime Lyn Bauer, along with Aldo Ray, Andrew Prine and Tiffany Bolling. Lots of boobies, all fully restored from 16mm with a nice bonus feature. Collectible crap at its best.

THE UNINVITED

2009; $19.95-$39.95, PG-13

We didn’t recognize until late in the movie that this was a remake of the Korean “A Tale of Two Sisters” from 2003. That’s probably because we were too busy watching cute little Emily Browning get the snot scared out of her. After the suspicious death of her mother, Emily’s dad becomes engaged to Elizabeth Banks (the guy’s got taste!), setting in motion a wicked chain of events. For serious horror we recommend “Sisters,” but this makes a great PG-13 date flick.

 

Other DVDs of Interest:

GANGLAND: THE COMPLETE SEASON 3

$34.95, UR

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: THE SIXTH SEASON

$49.95, UR

PULLING: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON

2008; $24.95, UR

SPIN CITY: SEASON TWO

1997; $39.95, G

THE WALTONS: THE COMPLETE NINTH SEASON

1980; $39.95, UR

UFO HUNTERS: THE COMPLETE SEASON 2

$39.95, UR

 

A more complete listing and free vids at www.videotapeworm.com